Posted by: soulshinemoments | July 26, 2013

No Matter How You Feel, Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up, & Never Give Up

Excuses suck. 

I make them, everyone makes them, but they still suck.

Why do we think all these obstacles stand in our way of doing what we think we want when the only thing standing in our way is ourselves?

If that makes any sense at all.

Jack was just lecturing Ariel about doing the dishes, feeding the dog, walking the dog, and making good grades for this upcoming school year.  As any kid does (and most people, too), she started spouting off all kinds of excuses and reasons as to why her chores don’t get done right after we ask her to do them and why her grades sometimes suffer during the school year.

She would come up with an excuse.

Jack would counter her excuse with a solution to how the chore could have still gotten done or the grades could have been better.

This was going on for quite a bit–the two of them going back and forth.

Finally, I asserted myself (my head spinning by this point): “Look, Ariel. All your dad is telling you to do is to not live your life with excuses.  Figure out a way to fulfill your responsibilities. Just do it!”

I’m pretty sure she just tuned me out, but it got me thinking, nonetheless, about excuses, their lameness, the way they disempower people (myself definitely included).  In this case with Ariel, her excuses at least makes sense because of course she didn’t want to complete her chores and would come up with reasons as to why they’re not getting done.  What is more nonsensical is making excuses for things that we deeply desire to do, but letting fear and excuses stand in our way. 

I am learning to drop my excuses and just do it.  That mindset is the reason that I am pursuing my MSW even though I am very broke and have to take out a staggering amount of student loans to pay for both my education and my our cost of living in general.  I have a toddler and I could have used him as an excuse for why I’m not pursuing school.  But, F— that.  He isn’t my excuse, he is my reason for doing it! I could have used my step-dad’s suicide when I was 22 and only finished with two years of my undergraduate degree as an excuse to give up on life and my dreams, but F– that. I’m using that pain to fuel my fire.  In September of last year, my first semester of grad school, my mom was having a break-down and had to be admitted to the psyche ward for six months to get her mental and emotional shit together (not to mention, she lost her job, her house, and her car which didn’t help matters).  I could have used that as an excuse to quit grad school, to drop out of life, but, yeah. You know where I am going.  Of October of last year, (again, my first semester of graduate school), my father, whom I only met 10 years earlier) past away of liver cancer in a hospice facility after a long and painful battle.  Can you guess what I am doing with that pain?  Using it to be the most compassionate, insightful hospice social worker that I can be. Soaking up everything like a sponge.  Not giving up on life. Not making excuses.  Fighting the good fight. I’m just saying–nothing is going to hold me back.

I even had a no-excuse moment today, as well, when I was doing yoga. Before I was doing yoga, actually.

Ariel told Jack and me that her school orientation was today.  I really wanted to both see her new school and go to my 7:30pm yoga class.  We figured out a way to make it happen by leaving earlier than we originally planned. After touring her new middle school,  I was able to make it to the part of town where yoga is held with ten minutes to spare.  I went to park in my usual parking area, and the downtown area was packed.  There wasn’t a parking space available.  I ended up calling Rachel twice and texting her once to see if I could park at her apartment which was pretty close by.  I finally got a hold of her. She wasn’t home but buzzed me into her gate so I could park.  After I parked at her place, I had to sprint, with yoga mat in hand, to the studio because I was a few minutes late by this point.  I finally arrived in the studio 10 minutes after class had started.  The lady at the front desk almost didn’t let me in.  She said that she’d already turned away another person who had tried to get in late to the class before me as well. For whatever reason, she said that she saw there was a little space by the door and I could go on in, but to “not tell any body” :).

So, I got my Yin Yoga on and all was right with the world.

But, guess what?  I really wanted that yoga class.  Bad.  I wasn’t going to let anything stand in my way.  I could have used to excuse of working at my internship since 7:00 this morning as an excuse to why I was too tired to go.  I could have used Ariel’s orientation as a reason why I couldn’t make it.  I could have used the fact that there was no parking downtown available.  I could have used the excuse that Rachel didn’t answer her phone and then that she wasn’t home.  I could have used the fact that I had to walk more of a distance to the studio.  I could have used the excuse that I was 10 minutes late.  I could have used the excuse that someone else didn’t get to go in, so why should I?  But, nope, nope, nope, HELL NO, this yoga class is mine!

I know I am going on an awful lot about a silly yoga class.  But I think it is just amazing how if someone really wants something, they will make it happen. And until one has that mentality, they don’t want it badly enough and maybe they don’t deserve it enough in the first place?

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Responses

  1. I love the idea of not making excuses. It is a great way to live your life!

    • Thank you! Yep…It may be challenging but it is a great ideal to try to live up to…

  2. Good stuff right there. I really hate excuses, too. If I use one, I try to label it as such with my words and I try to take ownership of it. Sometimes things do happen but our choices lead us to where we are. Great post!

  3. I can certainly learn a lot from this. I do try to make something positive out of all the crap that has been thrown at me in the past, like you do, but we all slip up from time to time 🙂 Good to have a reminder of how pointless and self-defeating excuses really are

  4. Never give up , never give in, there is happiness in enduring life when it’s gets tough.

    Smile, each breath is a gift, no guarantees, no fair world, life just is with an attitude towards us.

    We all die, whether we worry our ass off everyday or risk, enjoy, be present and live fully.

    Suffering happens, we all Deteriorate and we all have challenges. It is how we react or let go, happiness does not eliminate pain, suffering, sadness it live life in spite of it.

    You have great spirit and can do far more than heal with daily work. A world awaits, one without words, dialogue, opinion, judgment, good, bad or I different.

    Marty


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