Posted by: soulshinemoments | August 19, 2013

It doesn’t matter whether you’re short of money, people, energy, or time. What God invites you to do will always be greater than the resources you start with.” – Dr. Bruce Wilkinson

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The night before my third semester of graduate school begins.

I’ve written out my potential schedule and, as you can see, have found ways to implement yoga up to five days a week into that schedule. Awesome! I hope it turns out to be reasonable and do-able.

I went to a yin yoga class this afternoon. My right shoulder has been hurting me for the past week, but only in certain positions. I especially felt the pain while doing yin yoga today, which sucked. Also, my allergies have been acting up so I had to take some medicine which made me drowsy. Consequently, yin yoga was really challenging for me today both mentally and physically. I lacked the focus to even breathe through my poses and was ready to just get out of there, which never happens to me during yoga class! Sadness. But I will say that, per usual, after class was over, I did feel better. I will try again next time.

I also met with my friend Rachel (from my MSW program) after yoga class. We met at Starbucks and had some really great conversations.

I told her about my main issues with my internship thus far was communication with some of the patients. I am soft-spoken and sometimes I can be skittish. Most of hospice patients are elderly and hard of hearing, if not deaf. I am not easily heard or understood when I speak which is very frustrating for both of us. Usually I stumble around, repeat myself, use hand gestures until I am finally understood. But Friday, my supervisor was visiting a patient who was both blind and deaf! I didn’t have to speak to her. The patient couldn’t even understand my supervisor who was screaming in her ear with her loud and deep smoker’s voice. Thank god she didn’t make me speak. But I worry what happens when I have a patient of my own like that. How in the hell will I ever be understood? It kind of worries me.

I told Rachel about all of these concerns. She has mentioned to me before that she herself feels like she needs reike to open heart throat chakra. So I asked her if maybe I needed that, too.

“It seems to me like you use your voice well and that you don’t have trouble communicating. You’re into yoga, so maybe it would help you to work more on grounding poses like tree pose. Also, it would probably be beneficial to learn to use your breath and diaphragm more in order to be heard.”

Who knows? It is something that I will work on.

As I told Rachel, the main thing about being a hospice social worker is proving a supportive and caring presence to the patients. I’m not really sure the words I speak matter as much as being gentle and kind. Rachel said that she thought I was a great person to do hospice social work because I am gentle. (Ask my step-daughter how “gentle” I am–ha!) But, it was a really nice complement and encouragement for me to hear!

After we conversed back and forth about our internships and about our last two semesters of graduate school coming up, we went to Walgreens across the street. I found a wife-beater tank for Jackson that says, “Lock Up Your Daughters” on it which I had to get him! I also bought a calendar, lavender epsom salt, red lipstick, and red hair dye! Rachel helped me pick out the latter two items. I don’t know why I bought it. It was definitely spontaneous of me, but I thought a change would be fun.

Jack and Jackson should be home Tuesday evening. I cannot wait. I miss the both of them, but especially I miss my little man. I’ve never been without him for this long in the past two years and 9 months. Jack says he’s been doing great playing with his cousins in Ohio but every now and then he turns to Jack and says, “Mama?” I miss him!

Here are some of the pictures Jack has been sending me of their visit in Ohio:

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So he does seem very happy and well-loved with his family. I am grateful for that, for sure.

It’s after midnight, so I am going to go get my beauty rest on and prepare for my first day back! Here we go; Bring it, Grad School!

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