Posted by: soulshinemoments | August 29, 2013

WTF

You know, I am all about this yoga, holistic healing crap….until I throw out my back and just need a freakin’ muscle relaxer!

Last summer when Jackson wasn’t even a year old, I threw out my back and had to go to the ER.  My back was having painful spasms which felt a lot like back labor.  It was incredibly painful.  All the ER did was give me a morphine shot, take an x-ray which showed nothing was wrong with my back, sent me home with some pain pills and muscle relaxers and that was it.  I took the pills for a week and felt better.  Every now and again, I still get the twinge in my lower back.  Today, just before I joyfully squeezed out time in my busy schedule to make it to yoga class, was one of those days, unfortunately.

I thought yoga was doing wonders for my lower back.  I haven’t had pain there in months.  I guess I was a little too optimistic because today when I rolled out my yoga mat, I felt it strongly.  I started imaging my back giving out right in the middle of class and the yoga studio having to call the paramedics or something.  I was not up for this type of embarrassment, so I told the teacher about my issue and she told me to listen to my body.  After I got home, it hurt so bad to get out of my car, I was in tears. 

WTF…

So now I am laid up on a heating pad, praying that this fades eventually.

This experience also reminded me how frustrating it is when our bodies don’t act the way we want them, too.  It makes me especially consider my poor hospice patients.  I have a minor back injury.  Some of my patients can’t even get out of their beds or geri-chairs to use the bathroom.  I really do believe that it is our spirit which makes us who we are, but that doesn’t mean that it is hard as hell to detach ourselves from our bodies!

Today and yesterday I met my supervisor at a facility.  I noticed myself feeling more at ease with the patients.  Seeing them in their final hours is becoming less shocking and scary to me, which is a good thing.  I want them to feel my compassion and I don’t want there to be a wall in between us.  

Well, I am really bummed by this back pain. WTF….

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Responses

  1. Oh no! Sorry to hear about your back pain. Hope you feel better soon!

  2. Hot yoga? Maybe just lie flat and soak up the heat and stretch after a bit? Good luck w the back!

    • Thank you so much. I can’t even do hot yoga because I can’t get on the floor. Maybe in a week or so I will be able to do that though!

  3. I hope you feel better. What I always do when I feel pain is to focus on being healed. At first it’s difficult because the pain is overpowering. Eventually my gratitude for my healing and health shifts my focus.

    • Thanks for the tip, Girl. I tried to change my mindset this morning and meditate and not let anxiety take me on a trip. Really struggling but trying my best! Blessings to you 🙂


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