Posted by: soulshinemoments | October 16, 2013

Love is What Changes Us

Jack has been in Wisconsin since Sunday selling his glass. I have been holding down the fort well, though it has certainly added an extra stressor into my life. I’ve been juggling Jackson around trying to make sure his child-care is covered so I don’t have to miss any school or internship (which I almost thought I would have to miss tomorrow, but his regular sitter came through, thank goodness).

I am just ready for my love to be back. Jack has done many shows since we have lived together (almost 3 years now), and I will say that it is getting much easier than it was at first for me to watch the kids while he works out of town. Those first couple shows he did while I watched Ariel and was pregnant with Jackson were tough as hell! Ariel would have break-downs, crying, missing her dad. She was only ten and could never get a hold of her mother at that point (who, at that time, still lived in Georgia). And, then, here I was, trying to watch over her. I can’t blame her for feeling so distressed, but it was certainly hard on me, too. Now, however, she has really adapted. She listens to me when I tell her to walk her dog, do her dishes, and go to bed on time. I am counting my blessings, for sure.

Today at my hospice internship, we had a new admission. The patient’s caregiver was his daughter. My supervisor and I sat with the PCG for awhile, doing legals and admission. The daughter was in awe of her parents. She honestly made it sound like they were the perfect parents–that they were devoted and gave all their love and attention to their kids. My supervisor and I were curious, however, after we met with the patient, as to why the patient caregiver’s three brothers had nothing to do with their parents. The daughter said it was because they were boys and that she was really upset about how the other three siblings were treating the parents. My supervisor and I wondered if there was more to the story…because there always is. But we offered our support and caring presence to the patient’s caregiver and I was able to do the assessment (but not the legal) part by myself. I am still nervous about doing the legals by myself. My supervisor is very reassuring toward me and said that I will get it and feel comfortable and not to worry about rushing into it. I am definitely okay with that. I just pray I feel like a competent, confident social worker come May when I graduate!!

My advisor at school asked me Tuesday how I was liking my internship placement at hospice.

“I am appreciating it. I am learning how to be comfortable with silence, and that hospice social work is more about ‘being’ and less about ‘doing’. Often all the patients need is a caring presence and there is no intervention to put in place.”

“Ah,” she smiled. “You’re at the point where we as social workers figure out that it’s not ‘all about us’.”

Isn’t that the truth? I don’t have to have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I just have to allow myself to be a compassionate, loving tool in the process.







  1. “I just have to allow myself to be a compassionate, loving tool in the process. ” What a beautiful and wonderful idea and sentiment. If we all could be like that, what a place we’d have. But I love that you said this and love what your advisor said too. It’s taken me 43 years now to realize that it’s not all about me. Man, am I ever a slow learner. But like you said, what a weight that is off our shoulders. Such lovely insight here. And inspiration.


  2. What a lovely message and something we should all do more of!

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